


Maybe You're The Same As Me

by easilydistractedbyfanfic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cussing, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Groupies, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Music Brings Them Together, Mutual Pining, Only One Bed, References to Oasis (Band), Road Trips, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29772312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easilydistractedbyfanfic/pseuds/easilydistractedbyfanfic
Summary: In the fall of 1994, Raven & Murphy find out they have a shared love for an underrated rock & roll band. Although their friendship is new, when their favorite group announces a US leg to their upcoming tour, they seize the opportunity to take a trip to see them perform before they go mainstream. Once they're out on the open road, maybe they'll discover there's more than just music pulling them together.Based on a prompt via t100 Fic for BLM
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes, Finn Collins & Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes, Finn Collins & Raven Reyes, John Murphy/Raven Reyes
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	Maybe You're The Same As Me

**Author's Note:**

> There's a fantastic collection going on with writers & creators in the t100 fandom who are accepting prompts for Black Lives Matter causes. Click on the collection linked above to read a lot more stories, and click on the following link to read more about the guidelines & how to submit a request of your own! [Check out the carrd here!](https://www.notion.so/t100-Fic-for-Black-Lives-Matter-4038a7729df4459794275b4879b31be3)
> 
> Thank you to the Anon who made a donation to a great cause and prompted this story! Initially I planned this as a oneshot, but then I got over 10k in and they hadn't even left on the road trip yet, so here we are... I hope you find it satisfying! Moodboard created by the always-lovely Hopskipaway!
> 
> The hinted at band in the story is completely inspired by the real-life Oasis, and yes I know my technology usage in this story is not exactly on point with real history. Shh - it’s artistic liberty!

* * *

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/170152452@N02/50992667603/in/dateposted-public/)

_Maybe I just wanna fly_

_Wanna live, I don't wanna die_

_Maybe I just wanna breathe_

_Maybe I just don't believe_

_Maybe you're the same as me_

_We see things they'll never see_

_You and I are gonna live forever_

~ Live Forever, Oasis

It was only a few weeks into September, and already she can feel herself longing for Thanksgiving break. Raven Reyes sighs as she exits the library at Georgia Tech, determinedly tightening the strap of the bag on her shoulder, the weight reminding her just how much work she has ahead of her this weekend as she starts the walk back to her apartment. It’s no one’s fault but her own for picking such a tough major, but the beginning of her junior year has started off in a whirlwind. Looking over at all the students gathered on the grassy open spaces between the lecture halls, talking and throwing frisbees or having small informal study sessions in the warm fall sunshine, she does often wonder what it would be like to have the carefree, fun version of college life that the movies so often portray. And that she suspects some of her friends are much closer to understanding than she is. 

Lost in her thoughts, she almost misses the insistent buzz of her phone in her pocket, and even though she’s almost within reach of the front door to her building, she fumbles the books in her arms and the tote bag at her side, trying to fish it out in time to answer. Almost losing her hold on the books in the process, she gets it to her ear at the last second, completely missing the name on the display. 

“Yeah?” she questions, out of breath and slightly annoyed. 

“Is that any way to say hello to your favorite person in the world?”

Her short huff of laughter is accompanied by an eye roll. “You wish.”

Despite her words, they both know that the voice on the line isn’t that far from the truth. Even after everything Finn Collins has put her through, she still considers him a friend - one of her _family_. Maybe that was somewhat by default, since she didn’t have near enough family that she could afford to lose anyone, him included. But at this point, his betrayal had enough time behind it that she could admit Finn would always have a sort of rakish charm that appealed to her, though the attraction to it had long since faded. These days he felt more like the annoying younger brother she’d never had rather than the best friend and boyfriend she'd once viewed him as. 

“Tell me you’re coming to the party Saturday night.”

“Absolutely not. I’m swamped.”

“Awww, Raven, come _on_! If anybody deserves to cut loose a little, it’s you.”

He’d been on her last year too, with the same nagging to relax and have some fun. But Finn wasn’t on a scholarship, and he was also looking to get his business degree. Which from what she could tell by all the free time he seemed to have, he probably wasn’t putting much effort into. He could afford that, with parents who were happy to support him and probably always would be. She swallows back the stinging retort that forms in her throat. As much as she likes Finn’s parents, they’re partly to blame for Finn and his tendency to blow off responsibility. 

“I can’t, Finn. I really have a big workload already this year.” She pauses on the sidewalk outside her apartment complex, sitting down on the narrow stone wall that divides the parking area from the landscaping. 

“Everybody’s gonna be there,” he cajoles. “But today’s only Thursday. I’ll just keep pestering you about it until you agree to come.”

  
  
“Finn…” Raven trails off. She wouldn’t put it past him to do exactly that. 

“Raven…” he mimics her. “Just because you’re a genius when it comes to school doesn’t mean you always know best. I may not be as smart as you when it comes to grades, but you need to listen to me more often if you want your life to be more than just studying and keeping your nose to the grindstone.”

Well, he has a point there. Though if she listened to Finn as much as he badgered her to, she’d probably have been kicked out of college by now. 

“I’ll _think_ about it,” she relents, though it’s mostly just to avoid his continued complaints. 

“You’ll come if I have to drag you out of your apartment myself,” Finn promises. “No, scratch that. I’ll ask Jasper to do it and save myself the trip.”

Jasper is a mutual friend who’s in the same building as Raven this year, and is almost guaranteed to be going to the party. And Finn’s right - Jasper is really difficult to dissuade once he’s made up his mind about something. 

“Ugh,” Raven pouts. “That’s not playing fair.”

“A friend’s gotta do what a friend’s gotta do.”

They hang up soon after he makes that promise, and Raven stays outside for a few more minutes, enjoying the breeze. Eventually she stands up, shrugging her tote bag over her arm. If she’s going to be going to a party on Saturday, she’s going to have to pick up the pace when it comes to her course work. 

* * *

There’s a knock at her apartment on Saturday evening just as expected, but when Raven opens the door, she’s surprised to see that Jasper’s not alone. Finn wasn’t kidding when he threatened to bring her out to socialize whether she wanted to or not, and Jasper had called the day before to say he’d be there to give her a ride since he had instructions to get her out of her apartment whether she was ready or not. It wasn’t as if Raven _didn’t_ want to hang out with everyone, and anyway, the semester was probably only going to get tougher as time went on, so she’d decided to enjoy herself even if it meant getting up at the crack of dawn tomorrow for a study session. 

“Hey, Raven! You remember Murphy, right?” Jasper is practically bouncing on his toes, perpetually full of energy, and he jerks his head at the dark-haired man next to him. 

“Hi! Yeah, come in, come in. I’m almost ready.” 

Jasper and Murphy walk into her living room, and Raven gestures to the couch, inviting them to sit. “My roommate Monroe is visiting friends this weekend, so I have the place to myself. Before we leave, I wanted to reset her automatic coffee pot for tomorrow morning since I have to get up early, but I don’t want to mess up the schedule she already has programmed. Either of you familiar with how to set those up?”

“I broke Monty’s,” Jasper shrugs, reaching for one of Raven’s engineering books on the coffee table, casually flipping through it. Yeah, that figures. Jasper’s pretty smart, but he tends to be impulsive. Probably for the best that he doesn’t touch Monroe’s beloved coffee maker. 

“I have one at my place. I could take a look,” Murphy offers. 

Raven smiles gratefully at him and shows him to the tiny kitchen. She doesn’t know Murphy that well. He’s a friend of Bellamy’s, and Clarke only started dating Bellamy about four or five months ago, towards the end of their sophomore year. Raven met Murphy a few times over the summer at various group events, but he and Bellamy are seniors and the rest of them are mostly sophomores and juniors, so their paths don’t often cross on campus. From what she’s seen though, she likes Murphy’s sense of humor - the flashes of sarcasm that strike without warning, and the irreverent comments he cleverly tosses out. 

“I got a senior unit in the complex this year,” Murphy says, examining the coffee pot. “Jasper’s down the hall from me and when he found out I was going to Clarke’s party, he convinced me to drive so he could drink to his heart’s content. This one’s a little different than mine, but there’s similar buttons. What time do you want me to set it for?”

“Can you do 6:30 tomorrow morning? It’s ridiculous, especially considering I’m going out tonight, but my work load is already heavy. I have to get a lot done tomorrow since I’m not doing it now.”

Murphy looks over at her with a sympathetic grimace. “Yep, I can do that. What’s your major?”

“Materials Science and Engineering,” Raven answers, not expecting him to know what that is since in her experience, most people don’t. 

“An inventor at heart, huh?”

A pleased grin spreads over her face. “Yeah. I’m doing a minor in Aerospace Engineering along with it. I want to create new alloys for anything transportation related, especially airplanes and cars, but I’m kinda getting into the potential for biomedical devices lately too.”

“Now you’re talking my language,” he begins, but then there’s an impatient shout from the living room. 

“You guys finished yet?” Jasper yells. “I told Monty I’d be there already!”

“We’re coming, Jasper!” Raven calls back, slightly annoyed that her conversation with Murphy was interrupted. They’ve interacted before, but it’s always been with other people around. She thinks this is probably the first time they’ve ever spoken one-on-one. 

“You should be all set now,” Murphy explains, sliding the machine backwards into place on the counter. “And I programmed it so only tomorrow will brew that early. It won’t affect your roommate’s regular coffee schedule.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that more than I can tell you. I couldn’t find the manual, so you’re pretty much a hero to the exhausted future version of myself tomorrow,” Raven laughs.

“No problem,” he grins, turning to walk into her living room once more. 

Raven follows him out, preparing to pull on her boots and a light jacket, the thought absentmindedly occurring to her that John Murphy has a nice smile. 

* * *

The ride to Clarke’s takes almost a half hour with traffic, and Jasper keeps up a steady stream of conversation from the backseat, since he offered her shotgun as soon as they reached the parking lot. Murphy has the radio on low, and every now and then Raven catches a melody from songs she’s familiar with, happy that Murphy seems to enjoy similar music to her own tastes. 

By the time they walk into the large, sprawling mansion that Clarke grew up in, Raven’s feeling grateful to Finn for pushing her to come out tonight. She’s relaxed even though she hasn’t had anything to drink yet; for once her studies not at the forefront of her mind. Maybe a night out with friends was exactly what she needed after all. 

The house is full of people - more than usual, Raven decides, even though Clarke has a reputation for large gatherings. Raven has met her mom, Abby, a few times, and from what she can tell, Clarke’s mom doesn’t really care if there’s underage drinking as long as no one is driving. It’s not easy to wrap her mind around that. Her mother had a lot of faults, but she never would have let Raven’s friends have free reign on the alcohol at their house when she still lived there. 

There’s loud, pulsing music blaring throughout the rooms, and after they stash their jackets on the big pile already on the dining room table, Jasper disappears pretty quickly, probably to search for Monty. 

“You want a drink?” Murphy crowds against her to get close to her ear, attempting to be heard as they pass under a speaker embedded in the ceiling. 

Raven nods and the two of them continue deeper into the house, towards the back family room that looks out to the deck and pool beyond. It’s chillier in the evening air, but people are still outside, and Raven exchanges a few hellos as they weave their way to where the alcohol is usually laid out. 

“I was wondering if you’d show!” 

A feminine voice pitched above the music calls out and Raven looks over to her right to see Clarke walking towards her, a big smile on her face. Moments later she’s crushed into an enthusiastic hug, telling Raven that her friend is already rather tipsy. 

“I wasn’t going to,” Raven admits. “But Finn wouldn’t take no for an answer. And for once I might have to thank him for being right.”

“Well I’m glad you’re here. But don’t tell Finn he’s right about _anything_. It’ll just feed his ego.”

Raven tries not to wince. Clarke hasn’t quite forgiven Finn for everything that happened - not that Raven can blame her. Ever since Raven and Clarke managed to become friends freshman year and Raven started talking to Finn again not long after, Raven’s figured that Clarke puts up with Finn mostly for her sake, although they do have a lot of friends that overlap too. But now that Bellamy is in the picture, having Finn around might be all the more difficult. 

“I know,” she says in response, hoping that her friend understands the underlying sentiment that Raven appreciates the effort that Clarke is making on her behalf. 

Clarke flicks her gaze over to Murphy and then back over to Raven curiously. “Wasn't sure if you’d make an appearance either, Murphy. Bellamy said you’ve been practically antisocial lately. If you’ve been hanging out with Raven, I’d say she’s probably rubbing off on you.”

Rolling her eyes at the dig, Raven interjects. “Come on, I’m not _that_ bad. And anyway, Murphy just gave me and Jasper a ride over since we’re all in the same building, so any hermit tendencies on his part are for once not my fault.”

  
  
“She’s right,” Murphy agrees. “I’ve been antisocial all on my own.”  
  


“Hmm,” Clarke mutters, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “Well, whatever. I’m glad you’re both here. Get yourself something to drink - you know where it is. Some of us are outside on the deck if you wanna join us. Oh, and Raven, last I saw Finn he was playing pool with Monty and Octavia.”

“Thanks.” 

Clarke walks off towards the French doors, which are wide open to the night air. Murphy moves towards the table full of alcohol, and Raven follows, thinking about whether she’ll greet Finn first or if she’ll just run into him over the course of the night. 

“What are you having?”

She looks up from her thoughts as Murphy pops the top off a bottle of beer, taking a long swig as his eyes watch her expectantly. 

“You know what, I’ll have one of those too. Drinking only a couple beers tonight will probably ensure less of a headache tomorrow."

“Disciplined. I can respect that,” he teases, pulling another bottle out of the cooler and opening it for her before he passes it over. 

“You say disciplined, but quite a few people here would say dull...among other things.” Her tone is wry, but it’s the truth. She’s much more serious than most of her friends, even if some of them, like Jasper and Monty, have difficult majors too. They’re much more personable, more outgoing, more _fun_ than she is. She doesn’t know how they can juggle weekends full of partying and people and still manage decent grades. 

Murphy narrows his eyes, perusing her thoughtfully. It makes her feel a little strange, the way his eyes rake over her so keenly. She wonders what he sees while he looks her over. 

“Reyes, dull is _definitely_ not a word I would use to describe you.”

She takes a hasty sip of her beer, her mouth suddenly dry. Raven doesn’t know what he means with such a comment, but the way he said her name like that, so intimately, makes her want to blush. Hell, maybe she _is_ blushing, an unfamiliar feeling of warmth suffusing her. 

The moment only gets more awkward as she racks her brain for a witty retort, but then she’s saved having to respond when a heavy arm wraps around her shoulders and Finn half-tackles her in an affectionate hug. 

“Raven! There you are!”

She turns toward her oldest friend, staggering under the weight of him as she attempts to fondly push him off her and regain her balance. 

“Someone’s had a few drinks already.”

“Why do I have to be drunk to hug you?” Finn asks. “Can’t I just be happy to see you?”

“You can, though usually we aren’t this... enthusiastic. You’ve met Murphy, right?” Raven waves her beer bottle between them, looking back and forth at both men. Murphy’s expression is unreadable as he nods politely at Finn. 

“We’ve been at some of the same parties,” Murphy acknowledges. 

“Right, right,” Finn mutters. “Your girlfriend is a decent pool player, wasn’t she? She here tonight? There’s some good games she should get in on.”

“Ex-girlfriend,” Murphy corrects. “So no, she’s not here.”

“Uh, sorry?” Finn offers, surprising Raven with his attempt at manners. Finn’s not a bad guy, exactly, but he’s typically pretty self-absorbed. Her lack of a social life apparently an exception. 

“Nothing to be sorry about. It was for the best that things ended.”

Murphy sounds like he means it, but Raven can’t help but question that. She does have a vague recollection of someone Murphy brought along to a party in early summer, but all she remembers is dark hair. They weren’t even introduced to each other, since she and Murphy barely knew each other. 

“Even so,” Raven offers, wanting to be considerate, “break-ups aren’t easy.”

The thoughtful look is back in his eyes again, pinning her in place like a deer caught in headlights. 

“This one was.”

Once more he catches her off-guard, and she wants to dig a little deeper, find out why he’s telling her that, but then Finn’s tugging on her arm, pulling her towards the fancy billiards room.

  
  
“Come on, Raven. You and me can partner against Octavia and whoever she can scrounge up. She beat me last time and I need a win.”

Raven glances back over her shoulder, inexplicably hopeful that Murphy will come with them. But he tips his bottle towards her in a playful little salute before heading off in the direction of the deck, leaving Raven to mull over why she should find that so disappointing. 

* * *

It’s not particularly late - not for a Saturday night, anyway - but it’s still way past her usual bedtime, and weariness is starting to set in though Raven is trying her best to hide it. Playing pool with Finn and a few other friends was fun for a while, and then she meanders through the house until she finds Harper to chat with, drinking a couple more beers in the process though she paces them with plenty of water. She might not be focused on school tonight, but there’s no escaping the work she has ahead of her tomorrow morning, and the last thing she wants is to have to do it with a headache. 

Eventually Clarke joins the conversation and they watch a few rowdy games of beer pong, all crowded together on one of the long family room couches. She catches a few glimpses of Murphy throughout the party, but they haven’t gotten to talk again, and he isn’t watching the antics of Jasper and Monty facing off against each other in the latest round. Her mind starts to wander as the discussion around her continues, and she leans her elbow on the arm of the couch, propping up her head. It isn’t until she feels a light squeezing on her shoulder that she looks up and sees Murphy again, this time standing directly in front of her as she blearily blinks up at him. 

“Wake up, Sleeping Beauty,” Murphy taunts with a last lingering pat on her arm. “Looks like you’re ready for me to take you home.”

“Oh my god,” Raven hisses, jerking up from her hunched over position with her cheek resting on her palm, frantically looking around the room to see if anyone caught her sleeping during such a rowdy party. Her arm stings and tingles from loss of circulation.

“Tell me I wasn’t out for long,” she demands, all evidence suggesting otherwise. 

“I’m not sure,” Murphy says, slipping into the empty couch cushion next to her with an unrepentant grin. “But considering Clarke told me about fifteen minutes ago that you were asleep and that I should drive you home before you completely ruined the vibe of her party, I’m thinking maybe you’ve been out for a little while, yeah.”

“Damn it. She’s never going to let me live this one down.”

“Probably not for a while, no,” he laughs at her disgruntled expression. “Especially because I’m not sure how anyone could have fallen asleep in the middle of all this noise.”

She won’t be mentioning that she used to get a lot of practice as a kid, shoving pillows over her head while her mom “entertained” in the living room or master bedroom of her childhood home. Instead she shrugs and rolls her neck from side to side, stretching out the kinks as she gauges his reaction to her next question.

“Am I cutting your night short if I say that I’d be open to leaving? Because I can find another ride if you’d rather stay.”

“Nah, I’m ready to go too. Don’t plan on getting up as early as _you_ do considering your coffee settings, but I can’t exactly slack off tomorrow either.” He stands, gently grabbing her elbow to pull her up with him before dropping his hand away, reaching over to the table to pick up a few empty bottles. The too-brief feel of his warm palm feels nice. 

“I’ll put these in recycling and go find Jasper,” Murphy informs her. “Why don’t you tell Clarke goodbye? Pretty sure she’s still out on the deck.”

“Okay,” Raven nods, crossing the room to the French doors. She spots Clarke right away, but between the teasing about her falling asleep and the large group of people that are gathered outside, it takes her a while to say goodnight. By the time she’s finished making her excuses, she’s shivering in the night air as she makes her way to the entry hall, hoping Murphy and Jasper will be waiting for her there. 

The entry is empty when she paces near the front door, and she waits a few minutes, rubbing her hands up and down her arms to unsuccessfully try and warm up. She’s about to give in and go looking for them when she spots Murphy walking towards her, coats draped over his arm but no Jasper in tow. 

He holds her red jacket open before she can reach for it, and she’s so unused to the chivalrous action that she stands there in disbelief for a few seconds before she forces her arms to react, sliding them hurriedly into the sleeves before Murphy can change his mind and shove her coat at her instead. 

“Thanks,” she mumbles, her mind occupied trying to remember the last time a man had held her coat. She grins as she remembers - of course it was Sinclair. She bites back a giggle at the ridiculous idea that it could have been anyone else. 

“Something funny?”

“No, it’s nothing,” Raven rushes to cover up her flustered response, not wanting Murphy to ask her any further questions. “Where’s Jasper?”

“He’s pretty wasted. Monty said he’ll take Jasper home with him, keep an eye on him overnight. I think that last beer pong round pushed him over his limits.”

“Oh. I’m glad he won’t be alone tonight then. Monty will take good care of him.”

  
  
“Yeah. He’s in good hands. And just so you know, I only had two beers this whole time, so you don’t have anything to worry about either.”

Maybe she doesn’t know Murphy very well, but it doesn’t surprise her at all that he’s responsible with drinking - at least when he’s the one in charge of driving, anyway. It’s weirdly sweet that he offers up the information freely, without her having to ask. He opens the front door for her and as she walks through it, she can’t help but think that she’s in good hands too. 

* * *

Murphy turns the heat on low in the car for her even though it’s early in the season and he doesn’t seem to be as chilled as she is, and they sit together in agreeable silence as the radio station cycles through a few commercials. She makes up her mind to ask him how he met Bellamy when a familiar whistle followed by a pulsating beat of one of her current favorite songs comes through the speakers, and she quickly turns it up, not bothering to ask as she starts to softly sing along. From the corner of her eye she can see Murphy’s fingers start to drum along the curve of the steering wheel, keeping proper time with the rhythm, and then he shocks the hell out of her when he reaches over to turn it up even further, singing along with her when the chorus kicks in. 

Sheer surprise has her flubbing a few of the words, delighted laughter taking over until she can find her tongue again and gives herself over to the pleasure of sharing good music with someone else, her voice getting louder as it blends with Murphy’s. They sound good together, she decides, feeling much more awake than she did only a few minutes ago. When the song winds down, she spins the knob back down and stares impatiently at her impromptu duet partner.

  
  
“Okay, I know how _I_ know that song, but how do you? It only just premiered on US radio stations yesterday!”

“I have my ways,” Murphy says mysteriously, the remark enough of a challenge to make her determined to get him to spill his secrets. 

“You have to tell me - I love this band! I don’t know anyone else who knows their music!”

“You’ll just have to be patient until the next red light.”

Raven breathes out a sharp huff of irritation. Patience has never been her strong suit. “Fine,” she mutters, trying to keep the annoyance from seeping into her tone and probably doing a horrible job. “I know it because I like checking out the singles charts in other countries, hearing what kind of music the rest of the world is listening to. I put stuff on in the background when I'm studying, and I heard this one out of the UK and fell in love with it.”

“It is pretty catchy.”

She darts her eyes over to him again, unsure if he’s teasing her or not. “It’s more than that though, and I think you know it. It’s...different than so much of what’s on the radio lately. More optimistic, less grunge. I hear it and as soon as it’s over, I want to listen again.”

There’s an enigmatic grin on Murphy’s face as she finishes what she has to say, noticing that the car is finally slowing down. When the brakes slow their momentum to a complete stop, Murphy flicks the latch on the center console and rifles through a few CDs until he finds what he’s looking for.

  
  
“Take a look at this,” he gloats, but once she gets a look at what he passes her, she can’t blame him. 

“This...this is the UK version of their debut album. It’s hardly a month old and I haven’t even found a single CD in a music store around here yet! How did you get this?”

Murphy shrugs, the picture of nonchalance. But it’s obvious he knows she’s impressed. “I was a military brat for most of my childhood. I still have some friends overseas and one of them sent me a bootleg concert CD a while back, and once I heard it, we arranged a trade for this one. Nobody else I know has a clue who they are yet either, but I’m pretty sure that’s going to change at some point. This band is definitely on track for fame and glory.”

“Can we listen?” Raven asks, already popping open the case and pulling out the liner insert to see what it says. 

“Of course, lemme just take out what’s in there.” Murphy deftly keeps his eyes on the road as he hits buttons with a practiced ease, and his hand brushes hers when he reaches to take the case and slide the CD into the player. 

She’s transfixed for the rest of the ride, unfamiliar with all but two of the songs, and disappointment surges through her when she notices that the car is taking the last turn into their apartment complex parking lot. Navigating them into as close a space to the front door as he can manage, Murphy shifts into park and they finish the song that’s playing, but then he ejects the CD and carefully places it back into the case. 

“I’d suggest we could just sit and listen to the rest of it, but you’ve got an early day tomorrow,” he reminds her. 

“Right,” Raven sighs regretfully, genuinely forgetting about the workload she has ahead of her as she let the music carry her away. 

“If you want, I can burn a copy for you.”

“Yeah? That would be great, thanks!”

“Sure. At least you can listen until you find a US copy in the stores, if you still want something official at that point.” 

Murphy opens his driver side door and Raven follows suit, the two of them falling into step as they walk towards the apartment lobby. Leaving the warmth of Murphy’s car, she wraps her jacket around her more tightly, the cool air reminding her that her body is tired all of a sudden. As soon as she has the thought she yawns, hurrying past Murphy into the open lobby when he yanks the door open for her and then passes her to request the elevator. Once they’re inside, he hits the fifth floor and no other buttons, which reminds her that he said his apartment is across from Jasper’s, so he must be on the second floor. He answers her unspoken question, for once looking a little hesitant and less sure of himself than he has all night.

“Probably seen too many episodes of _Unsolved Mysteries_ , but if it’s okay with you I’ll make sure you get into your apartment safely since it’s late and you’re there alone.”

“Oh. That’s fine. I mean, that’s actually very nice of you to offer, thank you.” 

She’s not typically known to fumble her words, but Murphy seems to have that effect on her, knocking her off kilter with his coat-holding and door-opening and now the walking her to her apartment-ing. Skeptical by nature, she squints her eyes at the back of his head as they exit the elevator onto her floor, wishing she could read his mind. He doesn’t seem like he has ulterior motives, but except for Sinclair, the men she knows aren’t quite so...thoughtful. For a split second she considers whether his superior behavior is because he wants to ask her out, but she promptly dismisses the idea. He’s had a recent break-up, for one thing, and in spite of his words earlier, it feels impossible to her that a relationship ending could ever be _easy_. And for another thing, even with Murphy’s unexpected courtesy setting him apart as unique in her experience, she’s aware he’s actually pretty well-known on campus. He slots into the social in-crowd in ways she never has and probably never will, though she doesn’t hold it against him. 

If anything, she feels a little bit cooler for having similar music tastes with someone so popular.

They reach her door and Raven slips her key in the lock, wishing she’d thought to turn on her kitchen light before she left. It’s unexpectedly reassuring that she’s not in the hallway by herself, the complex quiet and deserted. Probably most of the residents are still out partying, since it’s early by Saturday night standards. 

“I feel like I have a lot to thank you for tonight,” she says, opening the door and stepping through the threshold to face him. “The rides to and from the party, being flexible about leaving early, grabbing my coat for me, walking me to my door so I don’t get murdered...not to mention the coffee I’ll be drinking in about,” she quickly checks her watch and groans, “oh, less than six hours.”

“Ah, don’t give me too much credit - that’s all pretty effortless stuff you know.”

“Not to me it isn’t,” Raven asserts, firm so he won’t argue. 

He rubs his hand across the back of his neck, averting his head, and Raven marvels at the possibility she’s made him self-conscious with a simple, sincere comment of appreciation. When he looks at her again it’s with an embarrassed grin, but she's glad she made a point to say how thoughtful he's been. Sinclair always says that people should never leave an honest compliment unspoken, and he's always making her feel good with the nice things he tells her. It feels good to have that effect on someone else.

“In that case, you’re welcome. But you better get some sleep.”

“You're right, but I’m glad I didn’t stay home and study even if I’ll pay for it later. I had fun for a change. Goodnight, Murphy, and thanks again.”

“Goodnight, Raven. I won’t forget the CD.” 

She gets one last glimpse of his face before he walks back down the empty hall towards the elevator. For some reason she finds her gaze lingering on his retreating form before she shuts the door, clicking both locks methodically into place. Pulling her boots off, she thinks about their parting conversation. It was the truth, what she’d told him - she did have fun for a change. And while she didn’t spend all her time at the party with Murphy, his company certainly ranked high on her favorite bits of the night. 

Of course there’s no way to be sure about it, but she thinks maybe he might rate her pretty favorably too. At least, that’s what she wants to believe. 

* * *

The next day passes in a blur, intense study sprints mixed with a heavy tiredness that’s tough to shake even with multiple mugs of coffee. Raven finally leaves her apartment after six in the evening, unable to ignore her stomach growling after only random power snacks throughout the day, headed to the campus cafeteria with the hope there might be something appetizing to catch her eye. She’s gone less than an hour, but when she returns to her apartment, Monroe is back and hands her a slim CD case, explaining with a raised eyebrow that Murphy stopped by to drop it off. Monroe also says that Murphy made a comment that he was sorry he’d missed her and he'd see her around campus. Judging by the amount of disappointment coursing through her due to the failed connection, Raven has a feeling she might be the most annoyed by them missing each other, kicking herself for not going to dinner an hour earlier when the mood first hit. 

She heads back to her bedroom, smiling as she examines the CD in her hand. There’s neat block printing with the title of each track written in black ink, and Murphy had left a personal note at the bottom. 

_To Raven, From Murphy - Finally! Someone else around here has good taste in music! Let me know what you think of the rest of the album!_

The compliment makes her giddy, and even though she should get back to studying, she decides to extend her break in order to listen to the whole thing, not only excited because she loves what she’s already heard, but also she wants to be prepared the next time she sees Murphy so they can discuss it. 

* * *

Raven looks up from her books at the soft knock on the see-through door of the glass study room she’s using at the campus library, anticipation shivering up her spine. It’s Murphy. It’s been over two weeks since Clarke’s party and she hasn’t seen him since. 

“Hey, can you take an interruption for a few minutes or should I wait for a better time?”

“No, come in, come in. I could use a break.”

Murphy places his own stack of books on the oversized table, pulling out a chair with his foot before slouching down into it. “Good. Saw you in here and thought I’d say hi, see how you’ve been.”

“Hanging in there, just lots of studying.” She waves a vague hand at the spread out mess surrounding her. “I’ve been meaning to thank you for dropping off the CD, but we never seem to be in the same place at the same time. I should have gotten your number from Clarke to let you know that I got it.”

“We can remedy that right now,” he says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. “Give me your number and I’ll text you. Then we won’t have to rely on chance meetings.”

His request for her number inordinately pleases her, reminding her of the time when a cheerleader from high school remembered her name and said hello in the hallway. Raven shakes her head at the absurd thought. She’s twenty years old, for god’s sake, and it shouldn’t matter that someone popular is seeking out her company. Since she’s started Georgia Tech, she’s come a long way from the shy bookworm she used to be, even if her social life doesn’t live up to someone like Murphy’s standards. 

“Well you don’t have to give it to me if you don’t want to,” Murphy says, misunderstanding her head shake as a negative answer on the request for her number. 

“Oh, I wasn’t saying no to _you_ ,” Raven rushes to reassure him, “I was just… having a ridiculous conversation in my head.”

“Do that a lot, do you?” Murphy’s expression is amused, and though she feels foolish, she decides to tell him the truth. 

“Actually, yes. That does happen a lot.”

“You know, I read that talking to yourself is a sign of higher intelligence.”

She smiles at him gratefully before giving him her number. He’s good at that - putting her at ease. 

“So you never did get around to telling me what you major in,” Raven hints after getting his text and inputting his name into her contact list.

“Believe it or not, Neuroscience,” Murphy informs her. 

“Why wouldn’t I believe that?”

“Honestly, a lot of people don’t. Usually I get pegged as a business major.”

“I wouldn’t think that,” Raven asserts, her brain conjuring the image of Finn and how often he blows off class. “I’m not surprised you’re into something serious.”

“You might be the only one then. Most people think I’m joking.”

“Probably only because you don’t seem very...scientific.”

“That’s very diplomatic of you,” Murphy grins. “But I have to disagree. These books are proof that I am, in fact, very scientifically minded.” He pats the top of the book stack that he carried in with him, and Raven notices their complicated titles and thick spines, and her eyes flick up to him in alarm. 

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry if I offended you! I totally didn’t mean to insinuate that you aren't _smart_ , I just meant that you’re outgoing and fun, and lots of people seem to know you. Which is not typically the personality of a scientist. Believe me, I should know.”

He laughs good-naturedly at her scrambled apology. “Don’t worry, I knew what you meant. And I admit I don’t fit the common stereotype of a scientist at all, let alone someone studying the brain. But don’t kid yourself, Raven. Neither do you.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that. If Finn had said something like that to her back when they were dating, she might have chalked it up to flirty banter, but she’s already discarded that possibility with Murphy so she just presses her lips together and searches for a way to change the subject, her gaze going back to the pile of daunting books at Murphy’s elbow. 

“Were you planning on doing some studying too?”

“Yeah. My roommate had a friend over, so I thought I’d find a quiet spot here at the library instead.”

“I’m going to be here for a while still. There’s room, if you want to take over half the table and join me.”

“That sounds good.” 

He flashes her another grin and Raven wonders whether spending more time with Murphy will eventually help to quell the little flip in her stomach when he smiles at her, or if that’s just something she’s going to have to learn to live with when he’s around. 

* * *

_Three Months Later_

A new text comes in after ten at night, while Raven’s in the shower. It’s been a gradual thing, and she couldn’t pinpoint exactly how it started, but she and Murphy have something of a routine going between them. They’ve been discussing the album he’d copied for her via text for months now, ever since they met up unexpectedly at the library. Sometimes they do short little comments about certain lyrics, other times more in depth takes on the band as a whole, but either way a constant stream of back and forth that only took a slight pause during winter break when they both went home. During their text conversations, Murphy began sending her various playlists from other musicians, saying he’s learned her taste enough to know what she’ll like. He’s not wrong, though so far nothing has impressed either of them as much as the band they first bonded over. Whenever her phone buzzes with a message alert, she’s starting to feel like Pavlov’s dog, anticipation flooding her with whatever Murphy might have to say next. 

_I’ve been playing track eight on repeat_

_What do you think this means?_

Laughing at Murphy’s latest, she pats herself dry with a towel and types back. 

_I think it means you’re lucky there’s a party this weekend so you can get whatever cigarette and alcohol fix you're looking for_

It’ll be Clarke’s first party of the new year, and Raven finds herself looking forward to it instead of finding an excuse not to go. That might have something to do with the fact that Murphy has already offered her a ride, but also because she hasn’t seen him much since they got back to campus after holiday break. Though they’ve squeezed in more joint study hours together after their first impromptu session, with both of them having full course loads, work and a social life - well, in Murphy’s case more than her own - their schedules haven’t meshed well since they’ve been back at their apartments so she’s had to mostly make do with their texts. 

_You might be onto something. Why do I feel like Christmas was a million years ago already?_

_Hey if you’re not too tired before you go to bed, call me. I’ll be up._

_I have a proposition for you_

She’s tempted to phone him immediately, filled with curiosity at his cryptic request. Phone calls aren’t something they do. At least, not that they’ve _done_. She’s wanted to call Murphy quite a few times, especially over the holiday when she was feeling bored with just Sinclair for company, but she’s never been sure if that’s crossing a line in their tentative friendship, so she’s always talked herself out of it. At least she won’t have to wait long to find out what he’s hinting about, considering it’s already getting late. Killing time by prepping her clothes and supplies for tomorrow, she eats up a whole half hour before turning out the light, climbing under her covers and eagerly punching in his number. 

“Well, well, well. To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?” 

Immediately she’s flustered. “Oh, umm, I thought you wanted me to call you? Sorry. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“Jesus, Reyes,” Murphy scolds her, the laughter in his voice apparent, “you’re so easy to tease I almost feel bad!!”

“You know what, you’re not funny. You had me thinking I misread your text or something.”

“It _is_ kind of funny, go ahead and admit it.”

  
  
She’s torn between gritting her teeth or laughing. Maybe it is a _little_ funny. There’s really no reason for her to think that Murphy wouldn’t want to hear from her, even if she had gotten the call instructions wrong. At this point she can definitely consider the two of them friends, she decides. It’s just that he’s so good at rattling her. 

“Fine, I admit it’s a little bit funny. Now tell me what was so important that you wanted me to call you.”

“Honestly I was going to make you beg for my news, but maybe I’ve already pushed your buttons enough for tonight.”

Raven hums in agreement, pulling her blanket up closer to her chin and snuggling down into the mattress while Murphy pauses for what he probably thinks is dramatic effect. 

“So, guess who tacked on a US leg to their upcoming tour?”

“Oh my god, really?” Raven squeals, bolting upright in excitement. “Are they coming anywhere near us?”

“I guess you might have to define _near_ , but definitely a couple of shows in driving distance. I’ve got it all planned out if you’ll come with me. We can go over spring break - drive up to New Jersey for a concert one night and then head to New York for another show before we get back to Georgia. It’s an amazing chance to see them before they go mainstream - smaller venues, much more intimate. What do you think?”

“Wow, that _would_ be pretty fantastic…” she leaves her comment unfinished, already thinking about whether she can juggle a quick visit home with a concert road trip and still have time to fit some studying in. 

“If it’s an issue of money, I can cover whatever you need. I’d rather go with someone else, to split the drive and for company, but it’d be even better with you since you’re as into the music as I am. Think about it and let me know in the next couple of days, alright?”

“Yeah, definitely. I should be okay, money-wise. It’s more I’m worried about how much course work I’ll be assigned over the semester, and at Christmas I told Sinclair I’d be back to see him for spring break. He’s...kind of my only family.” Raven hasn’t mentioned her past to Murphy at all, and that includes the man that took her in when her mother died. Maybe it’s crossing another boundary between them to bring it up, but if anything would stop her from going to the concert, it would be a promise to Sinclair. 

“Okay, that’s understandable. I’ll send you the dates and then you can look at your calendar to see if you have enough time to juggle everything you want to do. And if you don’t, then maybe we only do the Jersey show, because I’m really hoping you’ll go with me.”

“Thanks,” Raven mumbles, a flattered grin on her face in the privacy of her bedroom at his admission that he wants her to say yes. 

“We can talk more about it at Clarke’s party, but if I know you, you probably have twenty things to do to get ready for class tomorrow, so I’ll let you get back to it.”

“No, I’m already in bed,” Raven informs him. “I did everything before I called you.”

“ _Oh_.” 

There’s a longer than usual pause from Murphy, then she thinks she hears him clear his throat, but it’s muffled, like he covered the phone speaker. 

“Well, I’ll see you soon then. Goodnight, Raven.”

“Goodnight, Murphy.”

She ends the call, makes sure her alarm is set and settles back onto her pillows, a grin still on her face. Hearing some of her favorite songs live would be amazing, no doubt about it. But more than that, it’s the prospect of who she’d be going to the shows with that has her heart racing. 

Maybe it’s time she admits it to herself. She has a slight crush on John Murphy. 

* * *

“I see you’re here with Murphy again,” Finn says, his words and expression full of cheek when he spots her in the hallway near the kitchen at Clarke’s Friday night gathering. 

“I think what you mean is that Murphy gave me and Jasper another ride,” Raven replies, rolling her eyes. “You know, since we all live in the same building and were coming to the same place.”

“Come on, Raven. You forget who you’re talking to. I’ve known you since we were kids. You were smiling at him when you three walked through the door.”

“Oh, okay. So now me smiling at someone means what, exactly?”

“I think you like him.”

Damn Finn for being perceptive. She’s only just barely acknowledged her feelings to herself, and she spent the whole ride over to the party filled with nerves about whether she was being obvious about her infatuation and if either Jasper or Murphy could pick up on it while they were all in the close confines of the car. Part of her wouldn’t mind confiding in Finn that he’s not wrong, but even though they’ve put the past behind them, he’s still her ex-boyfriend. Telling him about her crush on Murphy feels too awkward, so she decides to deliberately misinterpret him. 

“I do like Murphy, yeah. We discovered we have some similar tastes in music, actually. There’s a good chance we might drive up to a show during spring break.”

“First of all,” Finn gives her an I’m-on-to-you look, “that is _not_ what I meant and you know it.” He takes her arm and leads her over to a quiet spot over by the toaster oven. “And wait, you’re gonna take a trip with him? When did that happen?”

“He just told me about it the other day,” Raven answers, her eyes wandering over the people in the family room beyond the kitchen. Her gaze rests on Murphy for a moment before she hastily tears it away, not wanting Finn to know who she’s looking at. “I checked my calendar and unless something changes with the schedule, I’ll have enough time for a short road trip and I can still visit Sinclair after.”

“See, I knew you liked him,” Finn starts to gloat, but it’s possible the annoyed frown she gives him stops him for once, because he trails off, his expression becoming more serious as he studies her reaction. 

“It’s okay if you do, you know. Like him, I mean. It’s kind of hard not to notice that you haven’t gone on more than a handful of dates the last few years, Raven. He seems like a decent guy. But maybe I should do a little digging if you’re going on a trip with him.” His eyes narrow in consideration, and Raven is instantly aware he’s definitely intending to do exactly that. 

“No, do _not_ start checking up on him, Finn! It doesn’t matter if I like him or not. Murphy and I are just friends who clicked over a shared interest in some music, and he asked me to go with him to a concert because obviously it’s more fun than going alone. You’re turning it into something bigger than it is.”

Finn looks at her sadly. “Just because I was an asshole doesn’t mean everybody will be. He asked you because he wants _you_ to go with him, just like you want to go for more reasons than just seeing a band. Don’t let what I did stop you from pursuing someone you want, or make you think you’re not deserving of his interest. You’re the best person I know, Raven, and I’m sorry I made you question that.”

Unexpectedly, he leans in and places a lingering kiss on her temple, leaving Raven rather stunned by both his words and his actions as he strides out of the kitchen. He’s apologized before - plenty of times, honestly - but he’s never been so adept at seeing right through her. It’s painful, in a way their relationship hasn’t been in a while, to be reminded how well Finn knows her. Finn’s cheating had hurt on multiple levels, but she thought she was over it all, especially once she’d been able to bring him back into her life so they could be friends again. His perceptive words are a reminder that their friendship still hasn’t recovered to the point of them being as close as they used to be. As she watches him walk away from her, she wonders if they’ll ever find their way back to that natural ease they used to have. For what’s probably the millionth time, she wishes they’d never taken their relationship into something romantic. They’d still be best friends if they hadn’t. 

She drifts through the party for a while after that, restless as she considers whether Finn is right. It was an accurate assessment that she hasn’t dated much since they ended in disaster, and any attempts at a relationship have fizzled out almost as soon as they began. Has she been telling herself things that aren’t necessarily true, purposely or not? She hasn’t trusted her judgment about people since Finn, she can admit that. But maybe that was the easy way out since she hadn’t bothered to get to know anyone well enough to determine whether she _could_ trust them. After all, there was less likelihood she’d be hurt if she just didn’t let anyone get close. Is that what she’s been doing - keeping herself safe by avoiding intimacy at every opportunity? The more she thinks about it, the more she believes that _is_ what she’s been doing, and the more frustrated she feels with herself. 

God, the last thing she expected from the party tonight was to have such a revelation, especially since it was brought about by Finn noticing that she has a crush on someone new. But he’s made his point, and she’s definitely going to have to do something about it. But first, she needs another drink. 

* * *

“So, what’s this I hear about a road trip with Murphy?”

Clarke plops down on the arm of the leather chair Raven is slouched in as she watches Jasper and Monty play a round of pool. The game room is crowded, but the music is loud enough to prevent anyone nearby from overhearing every conversation, which comes as a relief. Usually Clarke doesn’t let her get away with changing the subject, so they’ll end up talking about this in a room full of people whether or not Raven wants to.

“Finn has a big mouth.”

Clarke hums noncommittally. “You know I hate to admit anything good about Finn, but he cares about you. He wants you to be happy.”

“It’s to see a band, Clarke. Not whatever you or Finn is spinning it into. And anyway, I haven’t even told him I can go yet.” She wanted to tell Murphy in person, and on the way to the party, Jasper was in the car with them so she was hoping she could get a moment or two alone with him tonight to share the news. 

“Maybe so, but can you blame either of us for being overly interested in your non-existent love life, all things considered?”

“Ugh. If I had known you and Finn were going to be ganging up on me this much these last few years, I never would have accepted your invitation for coffee after that freshman art class.”

“Liar,” Clarke affectionately accuses. “You were too nice to say no to me in person. Besides, if there’s one thing Finn and I agree on, it’s that you deserve only good things. So if we occasionally team up to make sure that’s happening, well, just consider us your fairy godmothers or something.”

“ _That_ is a really disturbing thought.” Raven gives a fake shudder to accompany her words, making Clarke laugh.

  
  
“Shut up! We’re better than nothing! And I’ll deny ever saying it, but the Finn of today is a very different person from the seventeen year old idiot who hurt us both.”

Raven considers that confession, mostly in agreement with her friend. Finn _is_ different, and primarily for the better. She wonders if Finn would say the same about her. 

“Anyway, _whatever_ it is with you and Murphy, I’m glad you’re gonna get away and have some fun,” Clarke nods decisively, nudging Raven’s shoulder. “Promise me you won’t take any books along to study in the car though.”

That idea has definitely been bouncing around her head already, but she’s not going to blurt that out, uninterested in the lecture she’d probably get in response. Instead she takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, attempting to settle her nerves over what she’s about to say, both because she doesn’t like being vulnerable and because it’s only going to prove Clarke right. And Finn too, because she probably wouldn’t be asking this at all if he hadn’t put the thoughts in her head earlier. 

“Clarke...I know we don’t really talk about this kind of stuff, but everything that happened with Finn did some damage when it comes to me trusting my judgment about people. I do want to go on this trip, and you’re right that I’m… open to more than friendship with Murphy. I haven’t seen anything to indicate I have anything to worry about, but I’d appreciate your take since you’ve known him longer than I have.”

To Raven’s absolute relief and gratitude, Clarke refrains from any kind of I-told-you-so comment, and even manages not to smirk at Raven’s clumsy admission. 

“I could probably say a few things to reassure you that Murphy’s a good guy, but I think what will make my point the most is that Bellamy trusts Murphy as the next best person other than himself to keep an eye out for Octavia. You know how protective Bell is of her since their mom died - not that Octavia is all that happy about it, obviously. But I don’t think you have _anything_ to worry about when it comes to Murphy and trusting him.” Clarke winces a little, pausing. “And yeah, I realize me saying someone is trustworthy might not be the best endorsement, considering our history.”

“No, no, don’t say that, Clarke. I asked you because I wanted your opinion, and I mean it when I say it’s water under the bridge. Maybe things could have been handled better, but ultimately everything worked out the way it was supposed to. And if you trust Murphy, that definitely means something to me.”

Clarke smothers a sniffle, her eyes suspiciously watery until she quickly blinks the emotion back. “Damn, you’re making me all sentimental at my own party! People are going to think I have _feelings_.”

Raven bites back a smile, gently squeezing Clarke’s wrist. Her friend may protest, but Raven knows better. Especially now that she’s got confirmation that Clarke isn’t really as angry with Finn as she used to be. Maybe she’s not just putting up with him for Raven’s sake after all, which is a welcome thought.

“Anyway,” Clarke pushes her hair back, composed once again. “Murphy may have a reputation that he’s some big social butterfly, but I swear he spends more time trying to get out of going to a party than being at them. He knows a lot of people, but I don’t think many people know him. I’ve always thought he’s more complicated than the first impression might give off.” For the first time since Raven confessed she’s interested, Clarke allows a sly grin to cross her face. “Does that sound like somebody else I know? Could this be a match made in heaven?”

Shaking her head, Raven pushes Clarke’s wrist out of her grasp, a reluctant smile tugging at her lips. “Just when I thought you were being mature, you had to go and ruin it.”

“Hey, fairy godmother, remember? And so you know, I do think it would be great, and not just because the guy you like is my boyfriend’s best friend, either. He broke up with that one girl he had been bringing around, so _he’s_ single, _you’re_ single…” Clarke makes a heart shape with the fingers of both hands pressed together, and her voice takes on a teasing lilt. “You’re about to take a road trip together, so there’s going to be plenty of opportunity to just throw yourself at him and make out!”

“Oh, yeah, that sounds brilliant,” Raven sarcastically replies. “I’m sure that’s exactly how you nabbed Bellamy, right?”

“Well, it’s not _exactly_ how it happened, but I think it would have worked.” Clarke stands up from the arm of the chair. “Come on, let’s get you out of that comfy chair before you fall asleep again. My boyfriend and your crush are probably somewhere around here together. Let’s go find them so I can watch you pretend you’re not into him.”

Raven groans. Clarke is absolutely going to enjoy this, and there’s nothing Raven can do about it. Still, it’s a big relief to have her gut feelings about Murphy confirmed, even if she had to push through some discomfort over sharing an insecurity to get there. Oddly enough, telling Clarke about her anxiety at having faith in people as well as her infatuation with Murphy has her feeling lighter, like there’s a weight off her shoulders. Maybe absolutely nothing will come from her adventure with Murphy other than friendship, but for the first time in a long while she’s feeling optimistic at the possibility of it all, rather than having an urge to retreat back into her shell. 

After she lets Murphy know she can do the concert trip, she should probably find Finn and figure out a way to thank him for setting her straight. 

* * *

It takes a while for the chatter all around them to wind down enough for Raven to get an opening to speak to Murphy directly and change the subject, and even then it’s not like there’s privacy with so many people around. Not to mention she’s well aware Clarke’s eyes keep darting over in their direction, like some kind of watchful mother hen. But it’s getting later, and she doesn’t want to end up having to blurt it out in the car, unintentionally making Jasper feel like some kind of third wheel, so she tugs on the long sleeve of Murphy’s dark green shirt and pulls him a bit farther down the deck. 

“Hey, I checked my calendar and worked things out with Sinclair on when I’ll visit, so I can do both shows over spring break if you still want to go.”

“Oh, there’s no _if_ about it - I definitely still want to go! Seriously though, you can do both shows?”

She nods, and is rewarded with Murphy’s triumphant grin. Her stomach reacts twice as wildly as usual, and her escalating heartbeat only adds to the chaos inside her. 

“That’s great! I’ll order the tickets first thing tomorrow.”

“Okay, just let me know what my share is.”

He mutters what she supposes is some sort of agreement, but she can tell he’s not focusing on money as he stares intently into her eyes. The cool night air surrounding her doesn’t do a thing to help as her body temperature increases by the second, making her feel overheated and almost dizzy. 

“I’m really glad you can come with me.”

Now she’s definitely feeling faint. What if she was wrong when she dismissed the idea that Murphy could be flirting with her before? Does he like her as maybe more than just a friend? Is there a possibility he could want to kiss her anywhere near as badly as she wants to kiss him? She desperately wants to know the answer to those questions, and without overthinking it, Raven leans in ever-so-slightly, willing him to make a move and end her uncertainty. 

“I’m really glad too,” she agrees, and she almost takes it further - almost shares that she’s excited to get to know him better, but the moment gets stolen away when Jasper scampers over, dragging Finn along with him.

  
  
“Hey, just the people I was looking for! I beat Octavia last round so the pool table’s mine, and I told Finn I’d play him in doubles. Murphy can play with me and Raven can play with Finn if you guys are up for it!”

Murphy takes a step backwards, increasing the space between the two of them, and Raven tries her best to hide her disappointment. For his part, Finn throws an apologetic glance her way when Jasper starts rambling on about his last game and how he won it, but Raven knows the moment is lost. 

When Jasper stops speaking long enough for someone else to get a word in edgewise, Murphy cuts in. 

“I’ll tell you what, Jas. I’ll play if Raven does.”

  
  
Three heads swing towards her to hear her answer, but Raven only wants to know how one of them reacts to her reply. 

“Okay, I’m up for a game or two.”

  
  
Jasper shouts enthusiastically, bounding towards the French doors quickly enough to leave the rest of them behind. Finn takes off more sedately, not quite walking with them, but not quite giving them much breathing room either. It’s not a total loss though, not when Murphy smiles at her and his upper arm brushes against hers when they walk back into the house, and the brief contact is enough to send sparks careening under her skin. 

There’s no way to know what would have happened if they weren’t interrupted, and maybe Murphy only views her as someone he has music in common with, but Raven is sure of two things. First, she can’t wait for spring break. And second, her 'slight crush' seems to be getting bigger by the minute.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear what you thought, and I always appreciate your comments & kudos. FWIW, I wanted to explore a version of Raven who was always more of a studious bookworm, and became even less outgoing after the disaster of Finn's betrayal. This story is trying to portray her as more introverted and even a little bit clueless when it comes to other people's intentions. Stay safe, sane & healthy everyone!


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